Monday, May 7, 2007

PREPARING TO MEET THUY'S BIRTH MOM


For those not part of the adoption community, while in Vietnam we will be participating in a ceremony known as the G&R or Giving and Receiving Ceremony. It is a ceremony in which the country and government will legally recognize us as Thuy's parents forever more. We will be making a speech to some government officials and signing a book. I think of it as a magical book, because any book that I can sign and become this sweet baby's mother must be magical! In the adoption community this is known as "Gotcha Day." It is a day we'll celebrate yearly with Thuy for the rest of our lives. We may make it a big night out for Pho' and maybe give her a small gift we purchased in VN on the trip to adopt her, or just invite some friends and family over for cake and ice cream. We'll play it by ear each year.


As you may know Thuy was relinquished to the orphanage. That means we know who the birth parents are. The birth parents are invited to this ceremony. They may or may not attend and we have no way of knowing until the day arrives. I think it will be very hard to meet Thuy's birth mother, but I so desperately hope she will attend. I would like to talk with her (with a translator of course) and be able to tell my daughter one day that I did meet her birth mom and at least try to answer some of the many questions she may have about her. I also hope I can take a few pictures of Thuy with her birth mom. I think these photos would be very precious to Thuy one day.


We are putting together a picture frame with a picture of Thuy in it as well as a very small album that has every picture we were ever given of Thuy in the adoption process. I would also like to give a small gift to Thuy's birth mom, but what do I give? I am still pondering this to find just the right thing. She may not even come to the ceremony, but I want to be prepared for this meeting just in case.


Bill and I are not sure at this time how much of what we know about Thuy's birth family we will share with others. This is Thuy's own personal story and we want to leave it up to her on what she decides to share with others. So, please don't be offended if some of these details are kept private, we want to honor that this is Thuy's story to tell and we must wait till she is able to tell it for herself.

1 comment:

amanda said...

I too have tought alot about this, as it seems like a lot of World Child adoptive parents get to meet the birth mom. I still haven't fully decided how I feel about it, mainly because I think it would be really emotional and I am one to avoid confrontation at all costs (although probably not a good thing in this situation, so I'm still working on the idea). But your idea of the photo album would be a great gift, so that she has those photos to cherish for a life time. Also, I know of another couple who gave a heart necklace, which I think is a beautiful idea.